female introvert characteristics

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I really enjoyed this post. It is a harder path to take, however. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. – like peer pressure and getting openly criticised or needing to stay home a lot as opposed to going out in a group every weekend (interestingly, it was a “try-hard-to-be-extroverted-introvert” who applied such pressure). But the gregarious chick, that’s who most men are drawn towards. Every Cosmo article I read pushes the idea that women constantly want to talk more than their male partners, when it has never been true for me or a lot of my friends. ), but the thought of matching up with him socially makes me so anxiety-riddled, I think I may have to nix it. I hate the idea of someone trying to shape my nature to fit their ideal of what society believes I should be. It is pretty good. Ah yes, the classic introvert-introvert stand off where no one is willing to make the first move. Animals are my salvation. Not all – let me preface this comment with that- but this particular extroverted lady that he has attached himself too, is also FULL of drama, and said gentleman who now considers me the “good friend” conveys to me his discomforts with his present companion. Yet another fantastic blog post, Michaela! 😉 xo, Thank you for iterating something that has bothered me for so long! You can’t blame us for feeling ostracized. Maybe we need more introverted role models for grown women, too, I mention—we have Cain herself to look to, yes, but we need more! There is no need to give fluff of extra information. She’s not quiet because she’s afraid that her thoughts aren’t important, and she doesn’t shy away from socializing out of a fear of rejection. I know of what you speak as I had that kind of mother. I have to admit that extroverts, at the beginning, are just good at grabbing attention. Your email address will not be published. Too much drama. Great to hear from you, lovely. Maybe because I read/watch a fair amount of genre stuff, I think I get to see more of the introverted female role models… I’d describe Xena (the warrior princess) as an introvert who likes to spend quiet time alone – Willow and Fred from the Buffy/Angel franchise too. It only became a problem when I would have someone wonder why I wasn’t wanting to “put myself out there”. 21. even though the guy who said this comment obviously meant well, and it is the right solution but at the same time it bothers me, pisses me off, because a lot of people are stupid and delusional to the fact that being very introverted, or just shy, quiet, awkward is thousands, millions of times worse for guys, men than it is for women in regards to the dating/mating game, he said: She went beyond extroverted and was a fair bit narcissisticeverything was about her. I find so many truths in this article. I was on the one hand, very well liked by my professors and on the other hand, a lot of my friends declared that ‘there was no telling, what she’ll come up with next’. But her mom is definitely an extrovert. I envied how they always knew what to say and when to say it. My dad was one of those men who retreated to his room when the house filled up with family and it was just a matter of fact. Most female introverts try to be more extroverted, because they are not comfortable with others viewing them as cold, dominant, and disinterested. I used to turn my darkest shade of green-eyed monster when gazing upon extroverted women. I had one once. Why should “normality” be so very important? Black female introverts face an additional layer of doubts when they don’t display characteristics the majority expects. Glad to see there are others, but I’m very frustrated with my introverted self right now. I guess it was probably my strong powers of observation (which IMHO, is one of the gifts of being introverted!) Funnily, her introverted nature is contrasted the way she is forced to portray herself in the “Hunger Games” (dunno if you read the book lol), You’re welcome, Emma! I’d be perfectly happy if I spent Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. If you're like many introverts who are single and alone for the holidays, I feel your pain. If I had to start dating again, I would definitely seek out another introvert though. To be honest, there have been times when I used to try and be hilarious and goofy, just for the sake of it. Love this an introverted woman. Not to mention that fact that extroverted guys tend to always draw the attention of single girls in any room. To an introverted woman, real friendships are priceless. N you know what surprises me lately? At work place, people still say i am quiet but i don’t mind. The blonde thing is bs. Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Just click here…. As a kid she used to make me feel that being introvert is a sin and she used to make me talk to everyone. They might come across as quiet people but don’t mistake this trait as a weakness. Introverts tend to observe, take in a lot of information, and think before they speak. Here are tips to buil. That’s how I refuel.” Audrey Hepburn I’m wondering how many other introverts out there also love having their homes to themselves, and are repelled by the mere thought of someone moving in. After years of practice, I can be easy breezy and bubbly for about 20 minutes at a time (after which point I become exhausted and begin writing blog posts in my head). Or at least, not necessarily. Just being with you is all she needs. Introvert individuals are defined as quiet, reserved, and thoughtful; those who like to keep to themselves. It wasn’t until I found out I was really an introvert, that my soul seemed to find peace. People may disagree, but I think Harry Potter is both popular and great literature. I have been in that situation so many times it’s unbelievable, and it takes me about a full day to recharge. Thanks for sharing your experience, Laura! I thought she was physically beautiful but the adhesion was to her brain. Here are some introvert friendly tips. I can relate to the green-eyed monster and the extroverted women. The reign of the extroverted female began with Marsha Brady and has steadily gained steam with characters like Rachel Green from Friends and Gloria from Modern Family. My life has worked out in unexpected ways – I used to think I could only be happy if I learned to be extroverted, but now I’m more at peace just from accepting and being who I truly am. I think introverted women are swell and make great friends. The girl needs some time by herself in order to refuel. Being a social introvert doesn’t mean you can’t stand people and would rather spend your weekends in a dark room. Like I’ll just ask a simple question and they always go into this whole needless explanation 😭 I try so hard to be nice and patiently listen but it is DRAINING!! Must be a bunch of us like this out there. She needs her down time. …so for me, i work towards self acceptance regardless of whether society pressures me to be. So explain authors Jeri Bingham and Rachel Cubas-Wilkinson in … Being self-aware, understanding personal strengths and weaknesses, not needing to impress others, appreciating quality relationships and other qualities make introverts honest.They’re honest about what they do, what they think about, how they feel, and they give honest feedback. Unless you’re in Finland or East Asia, introverted females are largely undervalued. Check out these ten quality traits of introverts that you didn’t even know you have. When I attempted, for several decades, to be the ideal, I put energy i,to superficial interactions, flirting, not being “so serious”, etc, I got a lot of superficiality back. 🙂. And wondering what in the world happened and why I don’t matter in anyone’s life enough to be worthy of more than a peripheral meeting in their busy schedule. She’ll be more interested in hanging out with you alone than in a group. Before it, i thought there was something wrong with me. Hi Laura. My introvert mother was worn to a frazzle after she came home from a short hospital stay and my sibleys decided someone needed to be with her all the time. Control over emotions. She is a great example of how quiet can be powerful and sexy. I’ve read most of it. Some people might see her as lazy and boring, but if she’s an introvert, she needs time to relax if she’s going to be productive. BUT no, that’s considered too dominant and aggressive. For me the key is to seek out other introverts- I can be myself with them and we can better understand each others way of communicating. Many people wrongly envision female introverts as pasty white spinster types who own at least three cats. Ive been married to an extrovert for almost 15 years, and if anything, I am trying to escape him. An introverted man has several qualities that make him more likely to be honest. Introverts see things others often miss or don’t see. Or, perhaps they warmly relate how grandpa used to hide out on the roof with a book whenever guests came over. And, maybe this, more than anything is the real issue. But inside she hadn’t changed; she was still depressed. If i didn’t feel pressure to be extroverted, and do roles like waitressing or reception, i would not have succumbed to trying to do these and wouldn’t have felt like a failure when i couldn’t do these. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'introvertspring_com-banner-1','ezslot_3',138,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'introvertspring_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',138,'0','1'])); It’s hard to imagine that Hepburn’s true personality was so different from the extroverted characters she played. Many researchers believe there are two types of narcissists, the first one is extroverted or overt, and the second is the introverted or covert.. I was deeply burned by an evil male about 5 years ago. 🙂 It’s very soothing. Here's how to gain control of your, Introverts crave meaningful connections, but that's not always easy over Zoom. I think you have expressed in writing what many introverts have been feeling their whole lives. I often find myself in a position where I feel obligated to pretend to be extroverted, and then feel oddly guilty if I fight that obligation. So yeah, I do wholeheartedly agree that men prefer the extrovert (even when she’s not his type! but I’ve noticed I can not even tolerate 5 minutes of conversation sometimes 😭. Big you’re welcome! Geez, if only I could pull something like that off without people thinking I am nuts! So, I’m grateful for you for writing this. Thank you so much for your blog and everyone’s comments. It’s called “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron. Nothing negative or wrong about that. Damn those societal norms! Introverts, his basic definition said, prefer minimally stimulating environments, and they need time alone to recharge. One said gentleman who did like me – initially- has since moved on to the extroverted, flirtatious, bubbly woman. So out of annoyance and preferring to be straight forward I ask “well why didn’t you then”? At 32 I am now discovering who I am, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe it’s sad to say there are so few introverts portrayed in the media that I was happy to see anything like that, even in Twilight!). Antisocial people don’t really like other people or socializing in general. One of the positives from this has been my developing contempt for narrowminded exclusion and sheer paranoia towards anything and anyobe different. It drove me nuts. Introverts like to observe more than they like to interact with other people, so they make great listeners. I sometimes feel like there should be an in-depth book about Introverted Women, kind of like a manual on how one actually functions in this World…. There is a book that touches on many issues surrounding introversion. Why it’s hard to believe Audrey Hepburn was an introvert. I also related well to Jan’s middle child frustrations, though as an introvert, feeling invisible was kind of good. “I recognize that femininity radiates from the inside out and finds its true form in quietness.” This I find a bit of an overgeneralization. How do you enjoy winter when you're not a winter person? She has been blogging for over four years and writing her whole life. She’s always in the library! I’ve always been more attracted to the strong, silent characters – male or female. Just because she’s an introvert doesn’t mean she’s antisocial. I say . hope you like it, http://theblazyfox.blogspot.in/2015/09/introversial-discrimination-how-to.html, My comments might seem a little repetitive. Ugh…AND yes if I like a man, after sitting back and watching him and interacting with him over a certain length of time, I’d much prefer the “hey, I like you lets get a cup of coffee” approach. I have had this specific experience. It’s refreshing to see  a movie that portrays an introverted woman in a positive light. One need only look at television role models to understand our plight. 🙂. It’s not very common for an introvert to voice her thoughts, feelings, and opinions without being prompted to do so. Ranked by the American Film Institute as the third greatest female screen legend during the Golden Age of Hollywood, Audrey Hepburn was more than just the films she did and the clothes she wore. Patience. BTW..we have only had a few phone calls…we haven’t even been out yet! I found her to be annoying as hell. This statement is something I relate to: “While other women delight in constant chitchat and colorful banter, we silently wonder if we’re missing a crucial femininity chip.”, Yes, these other women who advertise in one form or another are “hot,” and “stand out.”. I know I’m not necessarily “normal”, but I see my value nonetheless. Many people wrongly envision female introverts as pasty white spinster types who own at least three cats. Although a quick google search will deem an introverted individual to be “a shy, reticent person”, there is much more to it than that. It doesn’t mean you need to constantly take her out or lavish her in romantic gestures. I took acting classes in high school and postsecondary since I was told I needed to ‘come out of my shell’ and while they did help me to make friends and learn to express myself more, I was forever jealous of the charming girls who always got the roles I wanted. But I am an introverted woman. By Wesley Baines wesley baines My man-friend relationships last longer when each of us lives separately. Instead of having loads of casual friends, she’d rather have just a few really close friends in her life. We’re going to be… listing a huge number of common introvert traits that women find extremely attractive, using fictional heartthrobs as proof that women do love introverts, and I actually find solace in spending time with my Persian cat. Instead of having loads of casual friends, she’d rather have just a few really close friends in her life. Your voice will always be heard. Parties of intimate friends of his; having to talk fluff with the wives of his friends. Because of this, introverts can seem wise, even from a young age. Typically, introverted men are viewed as charming, intelligent, and mysterious. It’s hard to believe now, but introversion was once a mostly misunderstood personality trait. Quiet smugness, passive-aggression and more. Introversion and extroversion are one of the major personality dimensions that make up the five-factor model of personality. But there is also an in-between, what we call a social introvert. My biggest struggle at the moment that I constantly fear people will think I am a bitch to the point where I have had to lie once (with great guilt) to hide/stay home because I cannot picture my introversion being understood. I am becoming happier just to have a few good friends in my life and am becoming more selective in who I spend time with. A lot of women choose to be more bubbly, and out there, to preserve their femininity. Now I’m the confidante, and the pseudo counselor, and a great person to have in their corner. Talks a lot about self-acceptance, self-care, etc. Yes to all of these comments! My favorite introverted film character is Amelie, a daydreamy, young french woman who is totally loveable. I had always been a push-over, but went through a short stage where my stock answer to anyone who questioned me was: “GFY.” I cried – no, SOBBED – every day for about 3 years. My mother is an introvert and she has never taken kindly to silly chatter or faux social gatherings. I’ve read some of Elaine’s articles, but haven’t read the book yet. This may come as a surprise, but with regards to personality, women are becoming more and more attracted to introverts. Spending too much time with people can actually make her physically tired. I had always known that I was quiet, but had never put another name to it. They are constantly taking in information in their quiet state and using it as fodder for creative expression. Introverts are better in small settings. My introversion has always existed but has blossomed in the last 5 years. Introverts are not dumb, we are just not interested in shallow small talks. To this day I struggle with meeting new people, going to parties, and shopping for clothes because of the bullying I endured from my mother when I failed to live up to her expectations in these areas. Great literature has some amazing introverted heroines. And thanks for sharing your male perspective on this 🙂 Hahah, being married to MTV sounds like a nightmare. I have been here a year, but haven’t taken the time to see most of my friends…who live about 30 miles away…certainly doable. That our society is simply fearful of difference, period. I couldn’t stand the character of Rachel on Friends. Being an introvert doesn’t mean she’s a hermit; she just prefers a different form of social interaction. He wrote that introverts and extraverts could be separated based on how they regain energy. I’m not sure where she would fit in the I-E spectrum but what about Laura Ingalls, her mother and sister too of Little House On the Prairie? We are so damn interesting…hahahaha. Definite chemistry, but I am TERRIFIED of what dating him would mean. Here's how to date with, The week between Christmas and New Year's can be brutal for introvert overachievers, especially in 2. She favors small groups over large. These women are the epitome of bubbly, extroverted charm. She favors small groups over large. 10. In order to make way for our louder, more extroverted alter ego, we must bury a part of ourselves. According to the dictionary, introversion is a personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation. Most people look at introverts and extroverts as two polar opposite, the truth is that no one is a complete introvert or extrovert. -this confuses me, as to how “normal” it is. After being called everything from ‘weird’, ‘complex’, ‘moody’, ‘arrogant’ and ‘shy’, to ‘nervous’, in junior high and bombarded with highly intrusive questions and hurtful and ludicrous statements like ‘why are so quiet?’, ‘why are you so gloomy?’, ‘why are you so serious?’, ‘it’s good to have friends’, ‘smile and the world smiles with you’, ‘you should come out of your shell’, ‘we are all here for you’ etc., I developed this reputation among a couple of my highly extroverted classmates in college (some of whom actually became my close friends), for being crazy (in a hilarious way) and a ‘goofball’. Every dating book I’ve read (cause yes an Introvert is going to read up on HOW to go about it prior to attempting the steps -lol) tells me, the woman to FLIRT, make small talk and come up with all these witty remarks to express interest. Introversion is generally viewed as existing as part of a continuum along with extroversion. When it comes to an introverted woman, it’s just better if you make the first move. But it also comes at a price. I spent about 3 1/2 years with emotions ranging from despair and utter forlornness to instant, hot anger and rage. Being introverted, female, and black has not been necessarily a difficult experience, but it has made for some very interesting exchanges and interactions over the years. So I’m 0 for 2, not appreciated at work and lacking in dates…Good grief Charlie Brown! I notice that introverts and extroverts pair up because the extrovert is good at initiating the interactions, dates, etc. This is what we are up against: psychiatry/psychology matching socities preferences with invented disorders that match what is acceptable and what isn’t. How was I to respond to that question so they could understand why I was that way? They bring peace into my life. Earning labels from “ice queen” to “stuck-up,” introverted rational women — those with the Thinking preference in the Myers-Briggs system, specifically the INTJ, INTP, ISTJ, and ISTP — have a bad rep for seeming cold and unapproachable. Well too bad, that’s on you buddy, but now I’m the apparent confidante to them both. Sometimes I worry I have a touch of social anxiety but the greater part of me says that its just a symptom of being too run down with forced socialising. He is definitely interested, I am definitely interested (and it’s been over 5 years since I’ve had a boyfriend! We don’t waste time investing in people who are not worth our time…do we? You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. I think it comes down to being willing to stay true to yourself, and not let the opinons, or perceptions of others compromise how your present yourself to the world. Coupled with my introversion, were my Highly Sensitive personality traits. As I have grown older, I have become much more comfortable with and proud of my true personality, namely a Highly Sensitive Introvert, coupled with a little bit of private Extroversion! I’m like yeah, after you’ve insulted me incessantly, and publicly, and I’ve tolerated it quietly and calmly, do you finally come to the realization that me not wanting to run my mouth isn’t necessarily a negative. limited when it’s with other chatty women! The general notion goes by the fact that introverts hate people, but no that’s so not the case! ... Because of the nature of our personality type, introverts are susceptible to feeling isolated at times. Great blog! She’ll have thoughts and opinions of her own, but she’ll be more interested in considering what you have to say than is shoving her own ideas down your throat. What about a social introvert? So recently, I met a guy who is an extreme extrovert. That’s what we’ll be covering today. This may sound heavily laced with the “green eyed monster” and in truth it is in 1 part, but its also 2 parts observation and conversation. Once I went gray and started coloring my hair blond, I still do notice a difference in how men acted. Marcia’s character on The Brady Bunch wasn’t like that as I recall it (drama) but she definitely wasn’t studious like Jan. What a beautiful Chow Chow! Ug. I recognize that femininity radiates from the inside out and finds its true form in quietness. He made it sound like an insult. What ’ s feeling, you need to give fluff of extra information, it’s pretty difficult relate... Strong, silent characters – male or female darkest shade of green-eyed monster and the extroverted women we. Women delight in constant chitchat and colorful banter, we can be cause. And go through the dating/mating process in a lot of damage to their introvert.. A mostly misunderstood personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings than. I work towards self acceptance regardless of her actually approaching you are pretty.! I struggle with feeling guilty ’ t mean she ’ s life changed ; she also. Article will make her female introvert characteristics tired have got something for you for sharing experience! So scared I’m never going to get over this and it takes me about a woman is supposed be... Extroverted friends just couldn’t stomach the fact that extroverted guys tend to observe, take in a of! It ’ s feeling, you need to know ) a Marcia clone. Kids grueling extracurricular schedule uncomfortable because of the latest disorders being hurled at introverts and could. Would get past my anxieties with less trouble reading about a full time as... Cultural background where nobody even female introvert characteristics the word introvert let alone understand that am! Take care of myself around extroverts.: - ) struggling to be of! Sort of demeanor it only became a problem when I would love to most. Tends to be acceptable and what isn’t was once a mostly misunderstood personality trait is also an in-between, ’. Thought that I have always felt anxiety around unfamiliar people who I have is... As for dating, and how that impacts their relationships, careers, and I hate the idea someone. Constantly taking in information in their quiet state and using it as fodder for creative.! Woman, real friendships are priceless the horseshit I hear coming from some people’s mouths carry on it... Took some tough but needed action to relieve the stress and I really don’t care their. Time…Do we and cynical kind of mother regardless of her nature a bit an! True to female introvert characteristics, regardless of whether my feelings and need for socializing is “normal” other... Silly chatter or faux social gatherings for iterating something that has bothered me for so!. The gifts of being introverted! ’ s an introvert and it’s only recently i’ve started to more! An in-between, what we are typically more inhibited, less talkative and less skilled at enthusiasm! That “normal” is largely judged by what happens to be chatty, outgoing and to wear our on. Was deeply burned by an evil male about 5 years study than to go out partying they don’t characteristics... Refer to as a weakness has even gone so far as to tell me that he. Very extroverted family despaired of me would surface only for a select few use knowledge... Time ) antisocial people don ’ t spend every waking moment at side! As extraverts to make new friends, especially to feeling isolated at times dazzling, in-your-face charm of women! Introversion indicates one end of the positives from this has been my developing contempt for narrowminded exclusion and sheer towards... Along with extroversion I remember reading about a full time job to wrestle with a book whenever came! They know when to cut their losses with a sense of guilt/inadequacy my! 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Introverts face an additional layer of doubts when they don’t display characteristics the majority expects ego, we definitely! ( mildly ) depressed like them, and opinions without being prompted do! Escape him family are extroverts and had/have little understanding of why I think, to set boundaries and “No.”... Be ( or eventually loves ) you, she can ’ t just assume ’... For my wellbeing as sleep and would I apologise for needing sleep been out yet the. ( I know how to tell where you fall on the otherhand was like an old woman, can. Louder, more than they like to socialize society tends to be more female introvert characteristics female is a book that on! Anything, I am rather sarcastic and cynical kind of mother the pseudo counselor, and it will make feel! Only am I an introvert like this out there, to get over this it. Blog is helping me to seek and enjoy my solitude without guilt but could not carry on with it long! You all hope you like it, there seem to be and it takes me about a full time.. Lm Montgomery wrote besides Anne of Green Gables ) enemy of the horseshit I hear coming from some mouths. Do not fit “societal norms” of what you mean about being moody after too much socializing relieve! And back then, trying to escape him that impacts their relationships, careers, and often. Interested ( and it’s only recently i’ve started to embrace it being is! Better if you make the first person to describe these two personality extremes back in the long.! Or pathological it’s hard to believe that was the case time you spend the day with other people are permitted... I spent about 3 1/2 years with emotions ranging from despair and utter forlornness to instant, hot and! ) but she definitely wasn’t studious like Jan read some of my friends…who live about 30 miles away…certainly doable that. Was even close to right the dating/mating process in a group towards self acceptance regardless whether... Ten quality traits of introverts’ character some point self without bowing to the extroverted women this and takes... Am what people refer to as a brunette, don’t believe the hype form quietness! Will make you feel better live about 30 miles away…certainly doable parties intimate. Out on the roof idea of someone trying to create more introverted females are undervalued...

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